So the Oscars happened last night. YAY!!! Oh wait, except every time I get excited about the Oscars, I apparently forget what a snooze-fest it can be. It got way slow in the middle there.
Chris Rock was hilarious as always, the presenters were as dull and drugged-looking as I've come to expect, and yes, I'm very glad Leo finally got his Oscar (and maybe the Internet will shut up about it now). BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART...
The Red Carpet.
Oh, the glorious Red Carpet and all its glory!
Except this year?
I've had a very difficult time putting together my list of best and worst dressed, especially since I am such an Expert In Fashion*, because frankly? Most of the looks I saw last night were boooooorrrriiiiiing. I wish people weren't so afraid of being on the worst-dressed list that they stop taking risks. Plus, how the hell does Georgina Chapman at Marchesa have the time to design all of these swoon-worthy (and, in some cases, incredibly bizarre) dresses? Does she do anything else?
ANYWAY. Click the jump to find out what I thought, in all of my immense wisdom**, about the looks that bedazzled the Oscars 2016 Red Carpet!
*Not an expert in fashion in any way.
Best Dressed List 2016
Oh, this was tough. This was very, very tough. So many solid colors. So many boring cuts. So little drama! But I must persevere! Here are my favorite looks from last night, in no particular order, all chosen based on the perfect combination of DRAMA, color, and styling:
Oh what a beautiful woman Sofia Vergara is - and the drama of this dress was perfect for a night at the Oscars! I love this shade of blue, and this dress has the perfect amount of sparkle - also I love the way the bodice of this gorgeous Marchesa dress fits her.
Isla Fisher might be my spirit animal. Another Marchesa dress, this one significantly less structured than the blue bombshell number Ms. Vargara was wearing, looks like it's fit for a Greek goddess - she looks effortless and ethereal.
This was probably one of the most controversial looks last night. I've seen it described as Cate Blanchett's mermaid nightmare. But after considering it for quite some time, I have decided that I LOVE IT. Keeping it classy with Armani Prive, Cate looked every bit the vivacious and risk-taking woman we all know her to be.
So I didn't see Room, but my husband the film critic did, and he was super psyched at Brie Larson's win last night. I, for my part, was super psyched at this fashion win. Such a bold blue! Such a sparkly belt! SUCH RUFFLES WOW! Gucci, strut your stuff!
Alicia Vikander looked perpetually stunned and not a little out of sorts all night last night, right up to her win for Best Supporting Actress. Fortunately, the dress spoke for her and told a fabulous story of a girly girl who isn't afraid to use colors other women simply don't. I've heard this Louis Vitton dress has been compared to a down comforter. I disagree - she looks like a freaking princess, and nobody can tell me any different!
So maybe it wasn't as hard as I thought - these dresses aren't necessarily show-stoppers, but I thought they demonstrated perfectly the personalities of the women wearing them, and they made me stop in my tracks when they came on screen.
It is entirely possible I'm only including this look because of my massive girl-crush on Olivia Munn, whose career I've been avidly following since she first appeared on Attack of the Show way back in 2006. This Stella McCartney stunner (with boldly matching lipstick) sort of stole the show for me, despite the criticisms that it was "too casual" for the Oscars.
I'm not sure a "Best Dressed" list could even exist without Julianne Moore's lovely, lovely style. While I'm not crazy about the fit of the bodice, the sparkles and dramatically sweeping black skirt on this modest-yet-decadent Chanel dress made me remember everything I love about this woman. Extra points for the low-key styling that accompanied it - those hoop earrings though!
So I actually wasn't all that crazy about this Chanel Haute Couture dress - the length combined with the peplum looked almost dowdy on youthful Daisy Ridley. BUT! The (shiny shiny shiny) silver color and the simple neckline fit her to a T. I have a feeling she is going to make some major waves on the Red Carpet in the future - or at least I hope she will. She is in a unique position of having the world's eyes on her, and I hope she uses that to the advantage of fashion everywhere!
Oh, I know what you're thinking - THIS is only on my HONORABLE MENTIONS list?? Well, it WAS on my favorites list...until a friend of mine pointed out that Charlize Theron's Dior dress looked like a pair of slugs sitting on her boobs. Wait for it...wait for it...you'll know it when you see it...and then you won't be able to unsee it. :(
Oh how I adore Amy Poehler! What a stunning and trend-bucking dress this is. Andrew Gn was a bold choice and she absolutely ROCKS IT. The colors!!! The designs!!! Oh my!
This was not fun. I don't like ragging on what people like to wear. But man...some of these were just not well-thought-out.
Oh, Heidi. :( Marchesa did not come through for you. I am rarely a huge fan of Heidi's Red Carpet looks, but this one is...oh, dear.
Here we see Kate Winslet looking like an oil slick in Ralph Lauren.
It's hard for me to say anything negative about Mindy Kaling. I love her so much! Her styling here, too, was incredible! I loved the hair so much...but this dress by Elizabeth Kennedy was not a win. The long train in the back is a stunner, but there's not much more I can say. Boring. :(
Rachel McAdams - why would you agree to wear a dress that would wrinkle so badly? This looks like something I could pick up off the rack at a prom dress store. The train is gorgeous, but the color and fabric choices made by designer August Getty Atelier were not the most impressive.
I love Saoirse Ronan. I love Calvin Klein. I love sparkly dresses. I love plunging necklines. I love deep emerald green harking back to Irish heritage. So why is this on my worst dressed list? I'll tell you why. Because having a seam at the waist cuts a woman in half. It killed the whole look for me, unfortunately.
Normally I wouldn't consider putting a bunch of men in tuxes on a best dressed list, but you know what? Only recently have I seen men start to break out of the traditional tux look. Some men, like Liev Schrieber, were built to wear a traditional tux. But why should women have all the fun? So here are my favorite non-traditional tuxes donned by the men of the Oscars:
I once knew a woman who used to work charity events in Hollywood. One day she shared with me the story of meeting Sylvester Stallone - she said that he was the most well-spoken, genteel, GQ man she had ever met in her life. He was stylish, professional, polite, and highly intelligent. I've loved him ever since I heard that story, and I love him so much in this navy blue tux, I had to include it. STUNNING. He looks as handsome as ever, and the cut of that tuxedo is perfect.
I'll be honest - I'm not sure what Orlando Jones has done lately or why he was at the Oscars. I don't understand how the invitation list works. But DUDE LOOK AT THAT JACKET!!! HOLY CRAP!
Michael Strahan's pre-show commentary annoyed the crap out of me, but I couldn't stop staring at his jewel-toned suit! It came from his own line, too, which is extra impressive. That's a man who wants you to look at him. I like that in a man. :)
Okay so here's a classic tux, but LOOK AT HOW CUTE JACOB TREMBLAY IS IN HIS LITTLE ARMANI TUX!!! And did you SEE his face when C3P0, R2D2, and BB8 showed up on the stage? And did you SEE how HAPPY he was when Brie Larson won best actress?? I LOVE HIM!
Okay that's about all I've got. Looking back at this post before I hit "publish", I'm finding I'm still a little annoyed at the lack of interest going on. But it was a great show, and some very deserving people won some very excellent awards of one sort or another, so I guess all in all it was a good night.